Family Meeting, Plus Singing and Prayer

Recently I read a secular book about improving family life, searching for a few gems in regard to assigning chores and keeping a house running smoothly.  Instead, I came across the advice to hold a family meeting once a week.  It was recommended for toddlers as well as teens.

Since we usually eat breakfast and dinner together, we have time to discuss important family issues like, "Who keeps using my towel in the bathroom?" and "When do I get the cell phone you promised me?"  But having a meeting to make general announcements, bring up sensitive topics, and hear from each member of the family how things are going sounded like something we needed especially since the kids are tucked away at school for a large chunk of time each week.

We're now three months into the trial and it's been great. Each Sunday evening, I make popcorn or dump some cookies in a bowl and serve hot chocolate. We spend the first 30 minutes discussing family issues, and Mark or I jot down the kids' concerns. 

One of the issues was that party invitations kept getting lost in the shuffle of papers.  We agreed that a cork board in the kitchen would help us keep track of everything.  Each week at our meeting, Isaiah reminded us that we needed a cork board until I finally bought it and put it up on the wall.  Isaiah just tacked onto the board his two party invitations for this week.  Problem solved. 

Getting a dog was another frequently raised topic, and one night Julia gave us a presentation on different dog breeds and her recommendations for our family and house size.  We ended up with a mutt, some kind of yellow lab schnauzer mix, but everyone's happy.

Last week Mark and I discussed the concept of a missionary furlough so the kids understand that in a few years, they will need to leave our home in Uruguay and go back to the U.S.  They didn't say much, but that's O.K.

After the business meeting, we added two more vital components not mentioned in the self help book.  We sing hymns together, in English.  Thankfully we have two Trinity hymnals.  Singing familiar hymns keeps us feeling connected to our home church in CA, and also to the OPC denomination since the songs remind Mark and me of the many Orthodox Presbyterian churches we've been a part of since we were children.

And finally, the third part is prayer.  Sometimes we "pray for the person on our right" after sharing praises and petitions.  And sometimes we break up into pairs.  Isaiah and I were paired up tonight, and I smiled as he prayed that God would help me with the grocery shopping and picking up kids from school even though I hadn't mentioned those concerns.

Tonight, we invited a boy from the neighborhood to stay for the meeting.  During the business part, he told us about a volcano he was going to work on with his friends.  Then he sang the hymns with us, prayed with us, and is now making cookies in the kitchen with Mark and Julia. 

I just went into the kitchen to test the dough, and our neighbor chef gave me a strange, "are you kidding?" look as I put some in my mouth. "You can eat that?" he asked.  "Yes!!!! Try it!!!" I said. He hesitantly put a glob of snickerdoodle dough in his mouth.  The expression of pure delight on his face was priceless: "That's amazing!!!"  He had never seen or tasted cookie dough before.

Our prayer is that he and his family will also taste and see that the Lord is good, and that once they have tasted the gospel in Word and deed, they will follow Him faithfully.  This is our prayer for each one of our children as well, and I believe that our weekly family meeting, complete with popcorn, hot chocolate, and hymnals, will continue to be a sweet refuge under His wings.

A Few Books I've Read this Year

As I mentioned in a previous post, I routinely escape into English.  Thanks to the Cloud Library, I have a small selection of recent books to chose from and read without a charge.  The only catch is that when the book is due, it disappears from my ipod and goes to the next person who has reserved it.  So, a few of the following titles disappeared before I got to the end.  Thankfully, I had plenty of time to finish the fiction titles.  These are a few of the good ones that I can recommend.

Beyond Belief by Jenna Miscavige Hill
The author's experience growing up within the Scientology organization.  Although she has good reason to be vindictive after years of forced labor, she focused on sharing her story as factually as possible without sounding bitter or angry.  I enjoyed contrasting my own experiences of growing up in a Christian family and church with her experiences of growing up in a cult.  It's black and white.

The Extortionist by John Grisham
I was frustrated with both the protagonist and the author who created him after reading 7/8ths of the book.  But Grisham was simply leading up to a very satisfying conclusion.

Monday's Child by Linda Chaikin
Sabrina and I read and discussed this spy story for chicks.  The main character is a Christian who stays true to what she believes. I recommend this author for moms and teen girls!

The Expats by Chris Pavone
Not explicitly Christian and could be rated PG13 for some mature scenes. I am keeping it on my list because I shared so many similarities with the main character who moves overseas with her husband and children.  I appreciated the author's respect for marriage, but also his realistic characterization of a couple that start to become strangers to one another in the unrelenting stress of cross cultural living and mounting distrust.

Going Clear by Lawrence Wright
Non fiction on Scientology.  It had more "dirt" in it than the autobiography by Miscavige.  I skipped over some of the tedious descriptions of Hubbard's womanizing and the financial accounting of the cult's cruel business dealings.  The author proves his point that the organization should not enjoy the IRS status of "church." Scientology has sadly made its way to Uruguay, but thankfully I don't think many people here have noticed.

Strange Virtues. Ethics in a Multicultural World by Bernard T. Adeney-Risakotta  I'm in the middle of this one on my Kindle, but it's a great resource.  I know it won't disappear so I'm taking my time!

Cross Cultural Servanthood by Duane Elmer. A good summary of what Mark and I are doing right now.

I'd Like to Apologize to Every Teacher I Ever Had by Tony Danza
Tony Danza agrees to teach High School English for a year in a center city Phili school!  As a former English teacher, I was sure this would be as fun to read as the title.  I was wrong.  It was melodramatic. To be fair, it was humorous at times but no lol.  I may have been reading it during a particularly strenuous week, but it put me to sleep pretty fast every night, and it disappeared from my Cloud before I reached the end.

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain
A non fiction that kept me awake for hours!  If you're a teacher, parent, homeschooler, pastor, counselor.... you'll benefit from some of her insights.  She says a lot that you probably already know.  And she attributes too much to "nurture/nature" instead of the Creator. But she has a way of drawing out new questions and connections that are fresh and relate to the personal experiences of the reader.  I found myself thinking about my own childhood, my kids, my friends, my husband.  It was an amazing read.  At one point I drew my own connection to the way that the Church has been influenced by an extroverted culture.  And since I was reading it on my small ipod without headings, I was pleasantly surprised when I scrolled to the next page and found that the next chapter addressed the topic.  I read one of the vignettes to the kids at breakfast, and Julia said, "Mom, I'm like that, too...."  It's an amazing feeling to identify one's God given personality and realize it's a blessing to be unique.

What do You do all Day?

I knew exactly how to answer the question when I was homeschooling our four kids.  But now that I think about it, no one ever asked me!  It was understood that being a "teacher, mom, wife, part time charter school teacher, pastor's wife" was enough to fill up the hours in a week leaving a few remaining ones for sleep. 

But after quitting my dream jobs, (clarification: I'm still a wife & mom - I mean the other dream jobs of homeschool & charter school teacher), and enrolling all four kids in a "drop off" school as my youngest calls it, I got hit with the "What do you do all day?" question.  I was speechless.  "Are you still there?" came the voice on the other end of the line.

I'm a missionary, right?  That explains it all, right?  I guess if I lived in a more remote part of the world you would just assume I spent half the morning chasing a chicken to prepare it for dinner.  And then walking to the nearest well to pump water for the day would have required the other half of the morning.

So what do I do, anyways?  First, any of you who have helped start a church or business know that the amount of work required at the beginning is an endless freight train of work.  The activities that are scheduled each week at church are staffed by just a handful of people as one week chugs into the next: Bible Study, youth group, kid's club, church cleaning, evangelism, shopping for supplies, Sunday morning worship, Sunday School.  Because it's all in Spanish, we need even more concentrated preparation time.

But seriously, we need to eat and sleep, too.  So here's a typical Wednesday, from my perspective.  I included a sample of what Mark is doing, too, but didn't go into much detail.

6am alarm: Mark and I pray together


I make meat empanadas for lunch

6:15:  I turn on propane heaters in kitchen & dining room, electric one in bathroom
Mark wakes up the kids and makes breakfast
Feed puppy
Jeni gives bus money to kids, makes lunches, helps locate a missing uniform piece or school book, signs papers.

7am We all eat breakfast together and coordinate the kids' activities for the day.

7:30 Mark drives the four kids to school
Jeni locks up the garage and house, washes dishes, and starts a load of laundry.
9:00 shower; Mark & I plan trip to Rivera church / bus? 5 in car & Jeni takes bus?







A white load dries on the roof

 

9:45 Mark goes to church to meet w Pastor Mauricio - planning & praying.
Jeni hangs a load of laundry on the roof, walks to weekly fruit market

12:30 lunch

1:30 Jeni walks & takes bus to pick up two youngest from school.
Mark works on correspondence, pays bills by taking out cash and going to different locations, and then pays our US bills, prepares a Bible study & power point for Thursday night.

3:30 Jeni meets two oldest kids & friends at a bus stop to walk them to the house

4:30 Jeni walks to grocery store with a kid volunteer, carries home food for 3 meals.
Takes laundry off line.

5:30-6:30 Jeni meets with a Spanish tutor. 

7pm Make & eat dinner
A favorite meal: Milanesa (breaded chicken filets) with mayonnaise, rice, tomatoes and lettuce, Coke.





Isaiah checks out a new journal that Julia gave him

7:30 Mark leads family devotions.  Tonight he checks on the kids' progress in memorizing the Westminster Shorter Catechism

8pm homework help for kids
Mark listens to Spanish interviews on topics relevant to Uruguay and takes notes while I work on Sunday school planning.

10:30 Turn off heaters, say goodnight to any kids finally crawling into bed, put puppy in crate. I read a chapter of the Bible in Spanish and then lose myself in an English book until I get sleepy

11:00pm ¡Buenas Noches!

Welcome to the Jungle

It's true that South America has amazing expanses of tropical rainforests, mountains, and remote jungles.  But we live in a capital city dense with houses not trees, and delineated by narrow city streets instead of rivers.

The multi level cement houses are packed into each city block with mazes of gates, locked iron doors, and dark passageways connecting each living quarter.  Buses, taxis, cars, motorcycles, bicycles, and horse drawn carts share the road without defined lanes, flowing rapidly through main arteries of the city like lumber jostling its way down a river.  The rivers suddenly converge and dump this disturbing mix into traffic circles as chaotic as thundering waterfalls.  And Mark wonders why I don't like driving anymore.

To walk from the bus stop to the shoe store, I hold on tight to Julia and Isaiah's hands to run across the spokes of the traffic circle, guessing whether or not the taxis and cars will choose to fly in my direction out of the spinning center. Yes, this is a pedestrian crossing.

I take a breath as I stand on a divider in between two lanes, buses flying by in both directions, waiting for my chance to cross yet another lane.  I am Jane, standing on a lone rock in the middle of the waterfall, ready to swing to safety on a vine while holding onto my precious children. 

Later, I board a bus and hear the driver's choice of music playing, "Welcome to the jungle...."  How appropriate.

Rescued Puppies

Half frozen, half starved, the two little puppies huddled together in the bottom of a canvas bag at the bottom of a dumpster.  It's in the middle of winter here, and they wouldn't have lasted long.  Thankfully, they were strong enough to keep whimpering, because the owner of a local gym heard them when she threw out her garbage.  She fished them out, cleaned them up, and took them to the vet. Here in Montevideo, there is almost always a vet within walking distance.  The vet figured they were only 4.5 weeks old, too young to be away from their mother but old enough to survive if cared for.

I had just told my friend we were looking for a guard dog/pet and didn't mind if it wasn't a pure breed.  That night the owner of the gym posted this photo of the dogs she found, and my friend forwarded it to me. 

rescued puppies

Mark and I thought about it, prayed about it, and went to see the dogs.  They were in a cardboard box at the gym, behind the receptionist's desk, huddled in some "lost and found" sweaters and sweat pants. Josh was with us and said he wanted the black and brown one.  But when I called later to commit to adopting the puppy, the black and brown one had already been promised to someone else.  

But, the little golden one was adorable, too.  We didn't give the kids an answer to the obvious question, and while they were in school, Mark and I went to pick her up.  Then we went by the school to pick up the youngest two kids.  Julia and Isaiah climbed in the backseat and were so surprised and happy to find a puppy curled up in a box waiting for them.  These kiddos have had to leave behind so much, and at times look so sad when remembering someone or something "back in the states."  It gave me deep joy to see their excitement at loving this little lost pup.  I think sometimes they feel lost, too.

Flechita's first day in her new home

The last few weeks of deworming the dumpster puppy has been well worth all the laughs at her antics and "awww"s over her cuteness.  Puppies are fun.  And that's coming from a cat lover.

As a family, we came up with a list of names and then voted.  The name "Flecha," pronounced "flay-cha," Spanish for "arrow," garnered more votes than names like Zoe and Canela.  Flechita is mostly house trained now and is almost done with her vaccinations.  It's been a great opportunity to expand my Spanish vocabulary at the vet, too.   Tonight while I have been typing this post, Isaiah fell asleep on the floor in front of the heater with his puppy.

God the Builder

We just finished our second VBS since we've been here. The children in Montevideo are in the middle of a two week winter break so Mark took our kids and Pastor Mauricio's children to walk around the barrio inviting children to come. For the second time, Josh dressed up as a clown to distribute the invitations. 

We had a great group, mostly boys, who loved singing the songs and playing the games. Sabrina helped translate some songs and played the guitar. Mark and Sandra led singing. I worked on decorations and craft planning the week before, and helped the kids memorize a scripture passage.

Sandra and Pastor Mauricio made the invitations, prepared and led the Bible lessons and games, and arranged the snack time. Some of the older boys had trouble listening quietly during the Bible lesson, but Mark helped them settle down on the second day. I enjoyed watching the boys look up at Mark during the songs and mimic his enthusiasm.  Sandra presented the gospel clearly through the wordless book. It was the first time many of them heard the good news.

What a great week! We're tired, but happy.